Feelings flowing constantly. It's life. Sometimes, when we try to stem that flow, stop the pain that accompanies these feelings, we damage ourselves. We try to make ourselves numb. We try to burn ourselves out, sear the nerves so that we feel nothing. All that does is hurt us more. We become raw, open wounds, even more susceptable to the pain that attacks from all sides. We hurt, because we don't want to anymore.
- - -
I wanted to stop. I wanted time to myself. I had to let myself go, or so I thought. But in that search for myself, amongst that sea of a summer, I found an anchor. I found someone to bring me around, a reason to be the better person. And that anchor now has led me to search for who I need to be. I now am more unsure of my future than ever before, but I'm not scared for it. I know it will be something great. I just need to find out what it will be. But I have reason now. Reason to look for it. And I thank God every night for what he has blessed me with.


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