Note: This isn't based on anyone. It's just a thought, from a dream.
He knew her from the beginning, and this was not her.
She was pure, whole. She was good.
When had she decided to take this road? He still loved her, but she wasn't the girl he had fallen for those years ago. She had started slowly, going to parties, but never drinking, never staying over. She knew the rules, and never crossed them.
But now, what? He shook his head, tears streaming down his face. All of this time he was striving to be good enough for her, to be worthy of the type of girl he thought she was.
But she wasn't that girl anymore.
His world in shambles, he took to the road. Feet pounding over the hard pavement, he made himself king of the asphalt. Every step brought him closer to focus. His legs were on automatic, his mind on overdrive. He wasn't running from his problems, he knew that they wouldn't go anywhere. They followed him.
So he ran.
It cleared his mind. He processed thoughts at speeds unthinkable. Flying through scenarios, he saw the future in glimpses, the past for what seemed like hours. When he finished his run, he knew that he would be okay. At least for a while. Then the sudden tiredness would hit him, and he would collapse onto his bed, into a fitful sleep.
He had helped her to see where she had drifted to. She had cried with him, promising to change. Begging him for help. It took all he had to promise to help her.
He knew he would, but at that second, that moment in time, all he wanted to do was forget it. Let it all go. Forget her, forget his life, and start over. Wouldn't that be easier than helping her heal the wound in his heart?
But he couldn't forget her. His life, that was not a big deal, compared to where she stood. She was his goal, taking all of his focus. Everything he did, he did it to make sure that he was worthy of her. And now...
He picked her up that night. On the way to Church, they cried again. Afterwards, they sat in the car, in the parking lot and he held her as she cried her sins out. He knew it would be okay. He even felt as if it were all better now. But he knew that he couldn't let her go again.
Not if he wanted her to be worthy of him...
He knew her from the beginning, and this was not her.
She was pure, whole. She was good.
When had she decided to take this road? He still loved her, but she wasn't the girl he had fallen for those years ago. She had started slowly, going to parties, but never drinking, never staying over. She knew the rules, and never crossed them.
But now, what? He shook his head, tears streaming down his face. All of this time he was striving to be good enough for her, to be worthy of the type of girl he thought she was.
But she wasn't that girl anymore.
His world in shambles, he took to the road. Feet pounding over the hard pavement, he made himself king of the asphalt. Every step brought him closer to focus. His legs were on automatic, his mind on overdrive. He wasn't running from his problems, he knew that they wouldn't go anywhere. They followed him.
So he ran.
It cleared his mind. He processed thoughts at speeds unthinkable. Flying through scenarios, he saw the future in glimpses, the past for what seemed like hours. When he finished his run, he knew that he would be okay. At least for a while. Then the sudden tiredness would hit him, and he would collapse onto his bed, into a fitful sleep.
He had helped her to see where she had drifted to. She had cried with him, promising to change. Begging him for help. It took all he had to promise to help her.
He knew he would, but at that second, that moment in time, all he wanted to do was forget it. Let it all go. Forget her, forget his life, and start over. Wouldn't that be easier than helping her heal the wound in his heart?
But he couldn't forget her. His life, that was not a big deal, compared to where she stood. She was his goal, taking all of his focus. Everything he did, he did it to make sure that he was worthy of her. And now...
He picked her up that night. On the way to Church, they cried again. Afterwards, they sat in the car, in the parking lot and he held her as she cried her sins out. He knew it would be okay. He even felt as if it were all better now. But he knew that he couldn't let her go again.
Not if he wanted her to be worthy of him...
posted by Chris Ness at 08:24
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