Life, it drains me.
The force of it rushing by, me trying to enjoy, slow down, savor.
It drags me along the bottom, as if I were in a river, trying to fight the current.
This is what I want, to just let it take me, but I can't let it rush me downstream.
I drag my feet, trying to slow down, but the current pulls me, harder, harder. I try one last time to dig in, but the water is deeper now, and closes over my head.
Gasping for air, I come up.
The current is faster now.
Scared of what I've done, I look around, desperately, for someone on the shores, watching me.
No one stands there.
Stunned, I float as I hear the water around me, rushing like a mass of angry bees.
Up ahead, I know it's coming, and there's no stopping it.
Resigned, I relax, and except what I have done.
The plunge slows down, I can see the water droplets around me, rushing to their doom below, a watery grave next to my own.
I can see watch the sun, shimmery through the mist that clouds my vision. In this peaceful moment, I think back, and would change nothing. I see all of my friend's faces, floating, bobbing, weaving, as if part of a puppet show; Smiling, laughing, frowning, crying. My whole life, before my eyes.
Not flashing, playing through. I watch myself fall off my bike, my dad already by my side. Fast-forward, I watch myself create love out of heartbreak, and feel my heart broken. Tears well up as I see the one I love, crushed out of my life by my decision.
Then, the sun goes out as I plunge towards my final home.
No pain, just sorrow. As the blood comes to a rest in my veins, slowly cooling, no longer necessary, I lay still. I am alone now. As it should be.


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