Oh yeah. Lost in the ocean. It's where I am, figurtively. But it's where I need to be, literally. Reverse those, and I'll be okay.


Seas flow. The surface is never calm, but it's an artificial restlessness that you see. Do the waves, miniscule in terms of what lies below, truly show you what the sea does? No. That's the busy work of the ocean.
What happens underneath the waves is on another plane, as can be seen by the changes from tiny superficial actions to gargantuan movements of water. The grand currents lead the charge across the ocean, to warm the next land. Fish, like humans, are happy where they belong in the system; observing.
People change. The surface of their life is never calm. They are always rushing around, doing a ton of little things that show us even less about who they are. We could follow one person around for a day, just as we can take a trip to the beach, a ski trip on the bay, or perhaps a fishing trip, which, above all the rest, is a trip made solely to 'bond' with the ocean. A "Man" as described by me, is a normal guy, with two kids. Man misses his opportunites, and later, when he is trying to regain them as a youthful attempt at fishing. Fishing is considered the sport where one 'bonds' with the ocean, and thus, the fish know you and come to your lure. But in this sense of "Bonding" We only addjust for the waves, no currents, no cross currents. We don't do anything with the other currends, the HUGE currants that run through our oceans.
The boats that we ride our lives around on aren't even glass bottom boats. The best weapon we have to plot the currents, and figure out the way climate changes work, is to a sattelite, and two large ships to ride the currents and take notes.
We can't have two people (talking to a sattelite) following a person around expect that person to be totallly figured out. I don't get it. Why do we won't anybody 'figured out?' Now, even if we got one person figred out, totally, what more? We can do anything and tell some poor kid that we're psychic, and if we throw a black crayon at jim, he will dance for a bit, and sing. They say we're crazy. We get $5. So what?
To train teams, you'd have to totally break them to make them 'known'. Then you havea bunch of broken players. That's not too exciting.
Everyone who gets figured out, gets broken. There's a word that means every little bit figured out is one peice of that person is no longer their's. If I wanted to figure Ashli out, I would have to take away everything that is her to do so. Thus, we would have Ashli's parts, and knowing how they work, but not have the memories that kept everything together. That's why we don't really want to figure someone out.
Imagine, a vast ocean, once glorified, now broken, it no longer works. All of the major operators in it have been taken away, tossed away. That is chaos. As is this Ambien Writing. Have fun.


Laughing, Crying.
Breathing, Dying.
Loving, Living.

Once inside, we can't escape.
Once free, we can't return.
Every thing we do is permanent.

Loss of love, and loss of Life.
Loss of limb, and loss of heart.
Living in an endless strife.

Freedoms stolen, not returned,
by those whom we hold dear.


To watch the strong crumble is certainly the most disheartening thing I can imagine. It signifies to loss of hope. When I see them refuse the offered hands, tears spring to my eyes.
Hopelessness is like a stream. It pulls against you, and it pulls you to the middle, where the current is fastest. It is deeper there, and soon you are rushing along, gasping for breath. I feel as though I am drowning right now, and it's no one's fault. I just pray that I become better equipped to help.